So peeps , come on , come clean, tell us your most embarrasing moments. I got tons, I threw up all over my desk and chair at my second job while being trained, but got to keep the job.
I got stuck in a toilet.
Did the Alley McBeal at the bowling alley, got my finger stuck in the bowling ball and fell all the way down the lane, that really does happen and it hurt.
And I threw the ball backwards instead of forwards at the bowling alley, almost knocked out my date, I should have he was an ass.
When I was about 20, I went on a date with a girl to the movies. As we were walking into the theater, I noticed that my fly was open. It wasn't all the way down, but maybe 1/2 way. The show was crowded, and as we were shuffling sideways into a row, I quick grabbed my zipper & gave it a sharp upward tug. Unfortunately, there was a girl sitting in a seat in front of me. She had long hair, that draped ofer the back of her seat. Yep! Her hair got caught in my zipper. Try as we might, we could not get it untangled from my zipper. People were yelling for me to sit down, because they couldn't see the movie. It was tangled up so badly, that an usher had to go the the manager's office for a pair of scissors to remedy the problem.
Funny thing...that girl never went out with me again. I couldn't figure out why.
____________________ If you can't read this, you're illiterate.
I have a ton of them but one that sticks out is when I put way too much cologne on in middleschool. I wanted to look all pimp and then I took some of my dad's polo and put too much on. EVery single class I went to for the whole day would start out with somebody gagging and then a puckus would erupt about who was wearing the cologne and me trying to sneak away or pass it off.
another good one is when my wife busted me strokin it. lol. If I wasnt high when it happened, I probablly would have been mortified. instead I was just disappointed I didnt get to finish.
Oh Pokes at least that was fairly private (I hope!), but now I can clearly see how you got your nickname - look at poor Mr. V, that's a lot of public embarassment.
Oh, I haven't totally supressed all of mine! I remember in college I had put some dots of Clearasil on my face to keep the skin in check and then took a nap. When I got up, I walked just over a mile through crowded city streets AND stopped in a store to buy a soda on my way to class. I stopped in the bathroom just before going into class and FINALLY looked in a mirror and realized I still had the dots of Clearasil all on my face.
This is just another example of why you should always tell someone if they have something embarassing going on.
One time when I was staying at my friend's house for a week, him and his girlfriend were having sex and noone else was home so I decided to get strokin' to Charlie's Angels. Well, they finished up before I did, and his g/f walked in on me...
I was in high school. One day I was hanging out with these 3 chics that I knew, 2 of them were sisters, and I was bangin tha youngah one. We were in the back seat of this chics car, just drivin around. Well the chic who is driving decides to get all distraught over a guy, who was one of my friends at the time. I guess he wouldnt give her enough attention, so she's flippin out, had been drinking too....and she decides she wants to speed down Atlantic Ave. in North Hampton.....right by the North Hampton Police Department. MORONLIPS. The closer we got to the beach, the louder the sirens got lol. Tha coppers come up behind her and pull her over. She fails a sobriety test, so there I am, the oldest person in the car....the cops ask if I can drive her car. I was like yeah, fine, ok. So I get in the drivers seat, and start heading to my girlfriends house so I can drop her and her sister off, then go drop this chics car off. Well along the way, my bowels decided to liquify. I could feel the Squirrels getting pissed, and just churning. I dont know what happened, but I just all of a sudden got this feeling like a bucket of hot water was gonna fall right outta me. I started getting really hot, and I was sweating trying to hold it in, as it was getting worse and worse. Unbearable. I was only about half way to where I needed to be, and at this point I was SERIOUSLY considering pulling the car over, running into the woods, letting it all go, then running home through woods and up the train tracks!!! I was sweating even more now, hotter than hell, and trying act like nothing was wrong. I was starting to hallucinate, I couldnt believe it. So now I'm going down Kaitlyn's road, almost to her house...I tell her and her sister I gotta go in cuz I dont feel good, I told them I was gunna puke. Well I was sick alright, but I wasnt gun puke! I RAN up the stairs into THEIR bathroom, ripped my pants off, and let tha juice loose. Total domination. I powerbombed their pot in, I'm talking serious, major league, Porcelain Paint Jobs. aka "Pot Paint". So I'm just sitting there, totally exhausted, gasping, and fully embarrased about this predicament I have been unwillingly thrown into. Utterly disgusted. It felt like I needed a mop to wipe myself, I was a mess. Soaked. I pondered....something had triggered this massive reaction in the pits of my bowels. I was baffled. I dreaded having to walk back down there to leave, knowing full well I would have to walk by Kaitlyn and Kylee, and probably their parents too. I gathered my spirits and went down, and got out of there as quick as I could. Thankfully, Katie was home from the police station by the time all this happened, so I got a ride home after I dropped her car off to her. Atleast I didnt have to walk home from Seabrook!
"know why I like you, cause your a regular guy. And I'm gonna help you stay that way."
beating you? well, one time I was so wasted at a strip club, I got onto a table and started screaming at one of the girls that I wanted to fuck her in the ass. they didnt toss me because I was spending alot, they just sent over 2 girls and a bouncer to "encourage" me to calm down.
that was one of those nights I'd like to forget parts of.
When I first became engaged, (back when the earth was still cooling), I went to my fiancee's house to take her on a date.
Her parents were both real "prudes", who never even said "hell" or "damn", and generally didn't have much respect for anybody that did. when I got there, her parents were there, but they too, were going somewhere & were on their way out the door. Their house was a bungalow that had few windows, and those were covered by draperies.
My then fiancee had been away at college & we hadn't seen each other in 5-6 weeks. As soon her parents left, we started to "get it on". I was sitting in a chair. She had unzipped me and was on the floor giving me head. The chair was right next to the front door. All of a sudden, the front door opened & her mother walked in. She had forgotton something. I looked up at her, she looked at us and said, "Excuse me, I forgot something." She walked through the living room into the bedroom, retrieved what she had forgotton, then left again via the same route, without saying another word. I never even got zipped up.
I never heard another word about it. ....ever.
But, I never forgot it either.
____________________ If you can't read this, you're illiterate.
Mr. Versatile wrote: When I first became engaged, (back when the earth was still cooling), I went to my fiancee's house to take her on a date.
Her parents were both real "prudes", who never even said "hell" or "damn", and generally didn't have much respect for anybody that did. when I got there, her parents were there, but they too, were going somewhere & were on their way out the door. Their house was a bungalow that had few windows, and those were covered by draperies.
My then fiancee had been away at college & we hadn't seen each other in 5-6 weeks. As soon her parents left, we started to "get it on". I was sitting in a chair. She had unzipped me and was on the floor giving me head. The chair was right next to the front door. All of a sudden, the front door opened & her mother walked in. She had forgotton something. I looked up at her, she looked at us and said, "Excuse me, I forgot something." She walked through the living room into the bedroom, retrieved what she had forgotton, then left again via the same route, without saying another word. I never even got zipped up.
J. Bolt
