Things you have to believe to be a Republican today
===================================================
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary
Clinton.
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's
daddy
made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a
bad
guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade
with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest
national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
without regulation.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then
demand their cooperation and money.
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing
health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies
have the best interests of the public at heart.
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools. A president lying about an
extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to
enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense
policy.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution,
which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
George
Bush's driving record is none of our business.
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers
for your recovery.
You support states' rights, but the Attorney General can tell states
what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but
what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
ok in all farness when a conservative does one of theis it never makes sense to me. even when i try and really make it so. its usually just the same old same old and often hatefull.
but here now those are honest and debatable points arn't they?
____________________ Bombing for peace is like raping for love.
Jesus was a liberal a socialist and a hippie
