Went toobing on the guadalupe river yesterday! for those that dont know, this is motherfucking party central. especially on memorial day weekend (and near then too) took my bro and got fucked up. drank about 50 beers and got damn near 25 hot college girls to show me some boobs. God I love Texas! Chicks love taking the top off. Now granted, I had to reciprocate for two of them. check this out. Were floating down the Guad and all but two fo the 25 girls I was with had flashed me, the 2 holdouts wanted to see my piece before they would take off the top. So being super fucking drunk, I went for it. Do you know how hard it is to stand up in a tube? After flipping over 3 times, I finally got up on the tube and dripped trou. I warned them in advance that the water was butt-cold so dont laugh too hard. I dont know if they ever actually saw my weapon of mass destruction because right after the pants came down, I hit some rapids and fell off the tube. I made it to the top of the water just in time to see my shorts floating down river without me. So my naked white ass swam after them. Luckily I got my shorts and the honeys took the tops off and left em off for the next 30 minutes. (texas rules) othe4r than me breaking my ass to save the beer and riding the cooler over two dams, it was a great day. (and the cooler ride was fuckin sweet too) Cant wait to do it again!
Its hadrd to take a pic of yourself swimming naked for your shorts. I begged Kenya to let me have her camera full of pics of me, my bro, and the tits. but she wouldn't part with it. Oh well, the memories of it keep me alive during work. I tell you what. I was so hammered, when I got on shore, I fell over twice trying to get to the phone to call riversports to come pick us up. Luckily some other girl was more drunk than me, she Passed out on the shore. You shopuld have seen me save the beer cooler. The cooler tube got caught in the DAM and I had to trudge upstream to get it. I got trhe thing but I lost my own tube so I had to ride the cooler over 2 dams and I flipped a few times and cut the shit outta my back and chest. I also tore up my feet and left blood all ove the rocks. But I saved the beer and thats all that matters. I was rewarded with tits and I now proclaim myself "GI JOE" cause Im teh real american hero.
