Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the
> > Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved
> > among us. Here then, are the glorious 2005 Darwin
> > Award Winners.
> >
> > ________________________________________
> >
> > When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his
> > intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach,
> > California, would-be robber James Elliot did something
> > that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
> > barrel and tried the trigger again. Of course, this
> > time it worked.....
> >
> >
> >
> > The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
> > meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping
> > around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.
> > The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
> > men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine
> > and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
> >
> >
> >
> > A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space
> > for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with
> > his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
> > Understandably, he shot her.
> >
> >
> > After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a
> > Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental
> > patients he was supposed to be transporting from
> > Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
> > his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
> > and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He
> > then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
> > telling the staff that the patients were very
> > excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
> > deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
> >
> >
> >
> > An American teenager was in the hospital recovering
> > from serious head wounds received from an oncoming
> > train. When asked how he received the injuries, the
> > lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
> > close he could get his head to a moving train before
> > he was hit.
> >
> >
> >
> > A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill
> > on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk
> > opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked
> > for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
> > promptly provided. The man took the cash from the
> > clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
> > total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.
> > (Question: If someone points a gun at you and gives
> > you money, is a crime committed?)
> >
> >
> > Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
> > He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor
> > store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted
> > the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the
> > window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the
> > would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
> > The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The
> > whole event was caught on videotape.
> >> As a female shopper exited a New York convenience
> > store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk
> > called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give
> > them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
> > minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put
> > him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief
> > was then taken out of the car and told to stand there
> > for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
> > that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
> >
> >
> >
> > The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
> > walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk
> > turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
> > cash register without a food order. When the man
> > ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
> > breakfast . The man, frustrated, walked away.
> >
> >
> >
> > When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor
> > home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than
> > he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find
> > a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
> > spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
>! > admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his
> > siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by
> > mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
> > charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever
> > had.
____________________ If you can't read this, you're illiterate.
Just make sure you're not standing near the window.
