The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.
Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is
forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game, and the ability to pick a
buffalo wing clean.
The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's
running late is 5 minutes. For a woman, you are required to wait 10
minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In
fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional and
slightly gay.
Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying
to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with
your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is
forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.
Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission and
he, in return is required to grant it.
If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem ---you didn't see nothin'.
When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always
ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's
playing.
It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach and it's delivered by a topless super model
and it's free.
Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain
sober enough to fight.
If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his
beer.
Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing:
either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations,
a nod is all the conversation you need.
If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not
join him.- far too gay."
