On his first date with a beautiful woman, Tim decided to impress her
with his knowledge of wine. He told the wine steward to bring a bottle
of 1985 Sterling Chabernet Sauvignon from the Carneros District.
Upon tasting the wine, Tim berated the steward, "No, no, this is a 1987
Vintage from the North coast vineyards near Calistoga. Please bring me
what I ordered."
The second bottle of wine was poured, and once again Tim was annoyed,
"No, no, this is 1985 all right, but it's from the Mount Helena
vineyards!"
Watching the drama from the bar, an old drunk came up to the table and
said, "Wow, that's an impressive ability. Can You tell me what's in my
glass?"
Not wanting to pass up an opportunity to impress his date, Tim sipped at
the drunk's glass. "Christ, this tastes like piss", he exclaimed and
spat the mouthful out.
"That's exactly right", said the drunk. "Now tell me when and where I
was born."
