Q: If a tennis player gets tennis elbow, what does a
gynecologist get?
A: Tunnel vision.
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Q: Why do women have faces?
A: So you know which pussy is yours.
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Q: What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
A: Outlaws are wanted.
------------ ---------
Q: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together?
A: To prevent the sensible ones from going home.
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Q: Why are gingerbread men the best men of all?
A: They are cute. They are sweet. And if they give you
any lip, you can bite their friggin' heads off.
------------ ---------
Q: What does a horny toad say?
A: "Rub-it Rub-it"
------------ ---------
Q: When do you know a man is desperate ?
A: When he practices yoga just so he can give himself head.
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Q: Who are the three most dangerous men a man can meet?
A1: A black guy with a gun,
A2: A Puerto Rican with a knife,
A3: A gay man with a chipped tooth.
------------ ---------
Q: Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?
A: Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
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Q: What is the definition of a bachelor?
A: It's some guy who's depriving some woman of her
God-given right to alimony.
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Q: How can you tell a bachelor from a married man?
A: A bachelor comes to work from a different direction
each morning.
------------ ---------
Q: What is the definition of a "smart ass"?
A: Someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you
what flavor it is.
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Q: What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey?
A: 99 times out of 100 you get an onion with long ears.
But that ONE time out of 100, you get a piece of ass
that makes your eyes water....
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Q. What did the mouse say when they gave him viagra?
A. "Here pussy, pussy, pussy!"
------------ ---------
Q: What's the biggest advantage of speed-reading?
A: You can take a shit in half the time.
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Q: How can you tell a blonde has been at a computer?
A: There's cheese in front of the mouse.
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Q: What do women and milk cartons have in common?
A: You gotta open the flaps to get to the good stuff.
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Q: Did you hear about the dentist who married a manicurist?
A: After a month they were fighting tooth and nail.
