Other than the rule about certain sexual acts being unmanly, the #1 rule
about having sex is pretty simple: -- Your partner should be alive and,
at
least 50% of the time, awake.
Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Mob Lover?
1. During sex you usually
a. Scream out your partners name
b. Plead the Fifth Amendment
c. Scream out your own name
2. Sex is best
a. With the lights on
b. With the lights off
c. With the dashboard lights on
3. If your partner pulls a Nelson Rockefeller and dies while in the
saddle,
your immediate reaction is to
a. Scream and roll off
b. Call 911
c. Finish
4. Your lover suggests something innovative, like handcuffs. Your
reaction
is to:
a. Try it, you might like it
b. Announce politely that handcuffs are not your thing
c. Wonder how you can use the TV remote during sex if you are handcuffed
5. Your partners are usually
a. Blonde
b. Brunette
c. Inflatable
6. After sex you
a. Think about how long until you can make love again
b. Hang up on the phone sex operator
c. Thank the priest
____________ _________ _________ _________ ___
Give yourself 3 points for every time you answered "a"
Give yourself 1 point for every time you answered "b"
If you answered "c" more than twice, just kill yourself, because you are
a
sick loser.
Scoring
12-18 points: Last of the red hot mob lovers.
10-11 points: A good mob lover
7-9 points: You're no Johnny Stompanato; if you're planning to stay in
the
mob, you better carry a rolled up sock in your pants.
4-6 points: If you make love like this, you shouldn't be in the mob, you
should be in a cemetery.
0-5 points: Forget the mob, just go to a Star Trek convention
