One of the first things you learn on your honeymoon is,
when you're carrying your bride over the threshold, always
go in sideways -- unless of course two broken ankles and a
concussion turn you on.
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I just realized that I've been married over 25 years
and my wife has never had laryngitis. What a rip-off.
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"Sir, your daughter says she loves me, and she can't live
without me, and she wants to marry me."
"And you're asking my permission to marry her?"
"No, I'm asking you to make her leave me the hell alone!!"
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Bumper sticker seen on the back of a car:
"I wish my wife was this dirty!"
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A man complained about having had two unhappy marriages.
His first wife divorced him and his second wife wouldn't.
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Definition of The Perfect Husband:
A guy who makes his wife's panties wet... doing the laundry
every week.
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The young wife hasn't spoken to her husband since the baby
was born, all because of a little misunderstanding. ..
She called him at work and said her water had broken, and he
called the plumber.
