Why are blondes like pianos?
When they aren't upright, they're grand.
What do blondes do for foreplay?
Remove their underwear.
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly:
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A
beer please, and one for the road."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Did you hear about the new course you can take at school?
Yes, Intercourse ... you go between periods and you are expected to
come.
There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic.
It reads "We may never piss this way again." <Thanx Bruce>
She was so wild that when she made French toast she got her tongue
caught in the toaster.
- Rodney Dangerfield
Everybody likes a little ass,
but nobody likes a smartass.
Little Johnny was taking confession, and he told the priest that he was
having impure thoughts about his sister. "Is this a sin, Father?" he
asked. The priest nodded and said, "Yes, Little Johnny, indeed, it is a
sin. Look at the two beautiful brothers you have."
Q: What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
A: The pickpocket snatches your watch.
Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a
yeast infection?
A: An itchy, twitchy twat.
I always ask atheists: If there is no God, then who pops up the next
Kleenex?
Thought for the day:
It's a strange world of language in which skating
on thin ice can get you into hot water.
