That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord
because he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told a
neighbor.
"You didn't do it, did you?"
"I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add.
What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up
for
six months!"
~~~~~~
A pirate walks into a bar
He walks up to the counter and the bartender notices a large steering
wheel with a parrot perched atop it sticking out of the pirate's
pants.
He says to the pirate, "Hey friend, do you realize you have a steering
wheel with a parrot on it sticking out of your pants?"
To which the pirate replies, "Yar! He's driving me nuts!"
~~~~~~
Q: Did you hear about the girl who wanted to
join the Army?
A: She jumped over a campfire and got "Deferred."
~~~~~~
Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers
out... "Okay everyone in the house, please stand advised that I,
Little
Johnny Elvis Smith, have on this date made a complete fool of myself
in
sex-education class by repeating stories concerning storks as told to
me
by certain parties residing in the house!"
