>Wife: What are you doing?
>Husband: Nothing.
>Wife: Nothing ...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an
>hour!
>Husband: I was looking for the expiration date.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Wife: Do you want dinner?
>Husband: Sure! What are my choices?
>Wife: Yes and no.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Wife: You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?
>Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
>picture, and the problem disappears.
>Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
>Hubby: Yes! I see your picture and ask myself --- what other problem can be
>greater than this one?
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
>lighten your burden.
>Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or
>troubles.
>Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet!
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give
> my seat to a lady.
>Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
>Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>A newly married man asked his wife
>"Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune? "
>"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO
>LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Father to son after exam:
>Let me see your report card.
>Son: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Girl to her boyfriend:
>One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
>Guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>A wife asked her husband:
>What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?
>The husband looked at her from head to toe and replied:
>I like your sense of humor.