A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. Clerk: "What denomination?"
Woman: "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this? Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic."
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
[You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.]
Just before Christmas, there was an honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa
Claus travelling in a lift of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened
they all noticed a $5 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up??
[Santa of course, the other two don't exist!]
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
[The letter "D"!]
The 3 stages of man:
1) He believes in Santa Claus.
2) He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
3) He is Santa Claus.
One Christmas I got a battery with a note saying, "Toy not included."
