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teamfocus
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Joined: Mon May 24th, 2004
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Mana: 
  Posted: Tue Jan 1st, 2008 02:13 am
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The Top 16 Signs a Radio Talk Show Host Is on Drugs

16. Takes phone calls only if the caller agrees to do a hit
of helium first.

15. Spent the last 15 minutes of yesterday's show clearing
his throat.

14. His response to every caller: "Dave's not here, man."

13. Cannot refer to Eli Lilly without adding the phrase
"makers of some mighty fine sh*t!"

12. "Microphones! There are microphones everywhere!"

11. Every call is screened through a rigorous "Are you a cop? You
sure? You gotta say so or else it's entrapment, man!" line of
questioning.

10. Claims he can do his show "with half my stash hidden under my bed
just to make it fair."

9. While interviewing Barbara Bush, constantly refers to her son as
George Washington and adds how much "you two dudes look alike."

8. He's talking into an iced-tea spoon.

7. Ted Nugent cuts the interview short and advises the host
to "try decaf."

6. He's on a seven-second delay even when he's OFF the air.

5. Refuses to give out the show's telephone number because "The Man
can trace it, dude!"

4. Takes payola only in the form of Cool Ranch Doritos.

3. Calls for drastic retaliation against Arab states for their nuking
of Arizona and the poisoning of President Palmer.

2. Can't stop giggling long enough to hear what "Dick in Buffalo" has
to say.

1. Begins every news segment with: "First, let's go to my beeper for
a quick look at the traffic."



____________________
Rick (Rokie)
rtdring@yahoo.com
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