They say not to put all of your eggs in one basket, but I'll be darned
if I am going to roll 12 shopping carts out of the grocery store!
------------ ------
The Middle-Aged Teapot Song:
I'm a middle-aged man, short and stout.
Here is my beer gut, here is my pouch.
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout:
"Where's my remote? It was on the couch!"
------------ ---------
A little boy goes up to his dad and asks,
"Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"
The father replies. . .
"Well, son, you must of got it from your mother, 'cause I still
have all of mine."
------------ --------
Scanning the phone book for a garbage service, I came across one that
clearly wasn't afraid to tackle any job. Their ad read:
"Residential hauling. All types of junk removed. No load too large or
too small. Garages, basements, addicts."
------------ ---
I told my wife she'd have to make my paycheck go further,
so.....she
she took it to Hawaii.
I don't worry about the energy crisis as long as I have electricity in
my hair and gas in my stomach.
Show me a good loser.... and I'll show you a fellow playing golf with
his boss.
My brother is so vain, he joined the Navy so the world could see him!
My husband is so thin, when he wears a red necktie he looks like a
thermometer.
Last night I saw a movie with a happy ending.... everybody was glad it
was over.
