This just in... For the 1st time in many years, a new element has been discovered.
NEW ELEMENT-----GOVERNMENTIUM (GV)
Recent reactions to hurricanes and gasoline prices are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. (Consultons do all the work.)
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert: however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Govermentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Govermentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as must energy as govermentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.[size=]
____________________ If you can't read this, you're illiterate.
