Old Man Dean, a miser and reprobate of some renown in the community,
at
last suffered a health crisis and was rushed to hospital late one
evening. He lay unconscious through the night, but rallied at dawn
and,
by and by, was well enough to receive visitors.
A local parson, hearing of Dean's misfortune and recalling that
at one time he had been a member of his congregation, determined to
make
a call. After brief pleasantries were exchanged, the preacher began an
earnest appeal for the old boy to mend his ways and return to the
flock.
He explained how the patient should be thankful that he was spared,
and
at some length inquired if all of his sins had flashed before his eyes
during the incident.
"Don't be ridiculous," replied Dean, "the attack lasted only 6
hours!"
------------ --------- --------- ---------
A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and
is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to
bring
over 2 other female friends in addition to my fiancee, and you have to
try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
The next day, he brings 3 beautiful women into the house and sits
them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay,
Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle."
"That's amazing! You're right, how did you know it was Amy the
redhead?"
The mother folds her arms across her chest and says, "I don't
like her."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --
Robinson Crusoe style, the shipwrecked golfer made the best of
his tiny island. When a cruise liner spotted his distress signals and
sent a boat to investigate, the landing party was amazed to find a
crude
but recognizable nine-hole course which the castaway had played with
driftwood woods, whalebone and coral putter and balls carved out of
pumice stone.
"Quite a layout," said the officer to in charge of the rescuers.
"Too kind, it's very rough and ready," the goatskin-clad golfer
responded. Then he smiled slyly: "I am however, quite proud of the
water
hazard."
------------ --------- --------- -----
The man asked me to fill out an application. It asked who should be
notified in case of emergency.
I wrote: "A Good Doctor!"
