Q: How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Six... One to hold the bulb and five others to stand around
and drink until the room spins.
Two Poms and an Irishman were manning the spotlights in England
in WW2. One pom says to the other, "Here, I'll show you how stupid
the Irish are."
The pom says to Paddy, "Hey Paddy, climb up the beam of light
and see if the Germans are coming tonite."
Paddy says, "You'd be thinking I'm stupid... I'd get half way up and
you'd turn the bloody thing off on me!"
Two British thugs walk into a pub in Ireland and decide to have a
competition as to whom can annoy the Irish Landlord the most.
The first thug goes up to the bar and says, "Oi Mick, did you know
St. Patrick was an Englishman?! "
The Irish Landlord merely nods his head and continues to pour
the pint of Guiness he's serving.
The second thug whispers to his mate, "I'll get him... watch this!"
So the second thug goes up to the bar and says, "Oi Mick, did you
know St Patrick was a wanker?!"
And the Irish Landlord says, "I know, your mate just told me!"
Recipe for Irish Stew:
Get some meat, some potatoes, and a lot of Guinness Stout.
Drink all of the stout. Forget about the stew.
An Irishman bought a mobile phone. While he was showing it off
in the pub the phone rang. He answered it only to hear his wife's
voice on the other end.
"Yikes!" he remarked, "how did you know I was here?!?"
