The Asshole Bill of Rights As an ASSHOLE, I proclaim the following:
#1 I will live my life the way I deem fit, screw political
correctness.
#2 I have the right to choose my religious path if I choose one at
all. Christianity be damned.
#3 If I want to eat a cow, I will eat a cow.
#4 I have the right to hang up on telemarketers midsentence and not
have to worry about whether or not I was polite.
#5 If I think someone's an idiot, I will tell them they're an idiot.
#6 I have the right to tell children that their parents aren't
raising them correctly. (Think of how many times you've been at a
supermarket and heard a screaming child the entire time...what
exactly would you want to say that'd be any nicer?)
#7 If you don't know what you're talking about, shut the hell up.
#8 You may have the right to speak, but I don't have to listen to you.
#9 If I want to be rude, loud, and obnoxious, it's a free country.
#10 If I want to go to a bar, destroy my liver with alcohol, clog my
arteries with junk , and have unsafe sex with the woman/man I just
met, I ought to be able to smoke while I'm at it.
#11 I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can go to Jenny Craig.
#12 Jerry Springer for President!!! !!!!
#13 Denis Leary should be proclaimed God and given reign over society.
#14 Your daughter just got drunk at a party, made a slut of herself,
and you're worried about my religious beliefs?
#15 Before you tell me how to run my life, be certain that your own
is squeaky clean.
#16 Just because you work at McDonald's doesn't mean you have an
excuse to have an I.Q. under twelve.
#17 (Courtesy of George Carlin) Just because you're a student does
not mean that you're any more enlightened than someone that works at
Blockbuster.
#18 Speaking of Blockbuster, if I return the tape, you do not have to
actually sue me for $15!!
#19 If you're stupid enough to give me credit, deal with the
consequences.
#20 It's ignorant to charge someone $25 if they bounce a check for
$5. (If I didn't have the $5, what makes you think I'm going to have
$25 you retards!!)
#21 If you don't like the way I drive then at the next red light get
out from under my car.
#22 If your dog or cat is so smart, then why do you talk to it like
it's a newborn baby?
#23 If I shoot you while you're committing a crime, and you try to
sue me for it, I'll shoot you again.
#24 Courtesy of Ben Franklin: Anyone who would give up freedoms and
liberties for temporary security deserves neither freedom or security.
#25 If you live in Tornado Alley, don't whine when you get hit by a
tornado.
____________________ Project FocusFast
'06 ZX3- Intake, exhaust, mount
'01 ZX3- Salvaged, SOLD
'01 ZX3- Repo'd several years ago
'80 RX7 SA- Where the f*** did THAT come from?
