An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he
insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't
go
well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and
live with
you and your wife...."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about
your age
and start bragging about it.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---
Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
------------ --------- --------- ------ --------
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of
Algebra.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to
pull up
your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was
called
witchcraft.. Today, it's called golf .
____________ _________ ____
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they
collide.
The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm
looking for
my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK, It's a coincidence. I'm looking
for my
wife, too I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What
does she
look like?" The second old guy says: "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,
with
red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What
does your
wife look like?"
To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for
yours."
