You've realy only have two choices for the final curtain, "Burial or
Cremation" If you have yourself cremated, you will be making an ash
of yourself!" If you have yourself buried, as petroleum comes from
fossilized bones, you will be making a fuel of yourself!"
Ever notice how there's an inverse relationship between a woman's
bra size and intelligence? The larger the bra she wears, the dumber
the guy she's talking to gets.
The difference between a professional playgirl and an amateur one?
Simple! A professional playgirl is one who checks a man's advances
until he advances her a few checks.
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study to determine why women
love Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to
the fact that Won Ton spelled backwards is: Not Now.
An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed
with a naked man. 'What are you doing' he shouted. To which his wife
said to her lover 'I told you he was stupid.'
What is the difference between looking for a lost golf ball and Lady
Godiva? The former is a hunt on the course.
A new bride who was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner.
So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if
there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been
married a long time.He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"
A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in. He
sees a guy leaping out of the window. His wife yells, "That guy
just fucked me twice!" He says, "Twice? Why didn't you call me in
after he fucked you once?" She says, "Because I thought it was you
-- until he started the second time."
