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Computers - More Fun Than a Barrel of Monkeys - Off Topics - Team Focus - Come On In And Enjoy The Company!

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Mr. Versatile
TF Senior Moderator


Joined: Wed May 26th, 2004
Location: Ohio USA
Posts: 3211
Year/Model: '02 ZX3
Occupation: Special Ed Teacher
Interests: Cars, bicycle road racing, playing my sax.
Male/Female: Male
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Wed Dec 21st, 2005 12:57 pm
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Computers      For all of us  who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have  enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill  Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and  stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has,  we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the  gallon."  

In response to  Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had  developed technology like! Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with  the following characteristics (and I just love this  part):
 

1. For no  reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time  they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.  

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.  You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,  shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could  continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4.  Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your  car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to  reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was  powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to  drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The  oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be  replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning  light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before  deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car  would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously  lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio  antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would  have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls  would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to  press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.



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